Only God Can Satisfy

Xin chào from Vietnam! My team is currently in the province of Da Nang. If I could describe this time in one word it would be the word restored. God has brought me to a place to strip me of everything in my life that was not being used for his glory. God has truly showed me how to have joy in any circumstance. More importantly, he has shown me how to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. I’ve prayed many prayers asking him to break my heart for the lost, for him to give me a different heart for others, and to be fully and joyfully obedient to Him. He has answered this prayer in the form of tough times where he turned hours of crying complaining, miserable tears to crying tears of overwhelming joy full of the spirit unable to contain my thankfulness. He has taken my heart and made it sensitive to where seeing a little of his love will send me crying. This is the Jesus I want to hold onto for the rest of my life. I am at times in disbelief of how good he is. It’s his kindness that leads us to repentance! I can do nothing. Nothing to make him choose me. All I can do is weep at his feet in awe of his goodness with open hands telling him to take everything. I long everyday to run home to my father who waits for me in every moment to come home. To come home to give him any thought or need.

Some scripture that has been most encouraging to me during this time has been:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery…For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope…You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you.”
Galatians 5:1,5,7-8

When we are made new in Christ, why look back? Why put back on any form of chain!? We are running the race and the enemy tries to persuade us to look back but we must stand firm and seek God continually for apart from Him we can do absolutely nothing! We are called by He who is worthy of everything and this type of persuasion does not come from Him. “Through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope.” Wow.

In Da Nang there is a beach and I love the beach so much! There are also so many types of amazing foods. Not to mention my team is really blessed to be staying in a house with nice beds and all the usual American things. However, upon arrival in Da Nang, I had a heart of complete bitterness. I could not go to the beach as I wanted because it rained nearly everyday, I realized the world and making plans didn’t revolve around me, and our team wasn’t allowed to see and really communicate with the rest of the squad although we were geographically really close because our ministry was/is highly monitored. I felt trapped, isolated, and shame. I knew I had an ungrateful heart and let it consume me for the first week. It was a hard time but the Lord is faithful because he did allow me to feel hopeless without him which is the truth of what I am when I try to find happiness in literally anything else. During that week, I hated the way I felt and hated that I was feeling it. I prayed prayers of, “God just keep breaking my heart for what breaks yours. Strip me of these things. Make me more like you. Deliver me from my own ways and let only you remain.” He opened my eyes to see that I’ve had a bad habit of taking anything so much as enjoyable and gripping onto it so tightly that I’ve put it above God. Plans, the beach, books I’ve enjoyed, music, food, friendships, and desires that were all created for me to enjoy were things I made into an unhealthy desire for myself. I prayed, “God, take my heart to a place where I can rightly love these things but take me to my knees and make me so in love with you that I can’t take my eyes off of you. And help me to see these blessings as gifts, provisions, and beautiful creations given out of your love.” God is taking these things and putting them in the right side of my heart so that he can be in them instead of outside of them.

God has directly answered my prayers in ways that blew up my expectations for how I thought he’d work. He has showed me that I can boldly ask for things and have great faith that he will always provide. Our God is a way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, and truly a light in the darkness.

Thank you to all who are faithfully praying for me; I am so blessed and miss all of you dearly! There is more to come on the ministry we’re doing in Vietnam. Until then, may the Lord bless you, keep you, make his face shine upon you, be gracious to you, turn his face toward you, and give you peace. 

Love,

Kayley

Just for a little caption of the cover photo- it’s a picture of the window I looked out feeling trapped in a city blocking my view of where I longed to be- the beach. This became the window I looked out onto the city of Da Nang and thanked God for all he did and prayed for the salvation of the people living in this city. Now I love this spot and God showed me that he restores broken hearts.